All my life I’ve been fat. No, that’s not entirely true. I wasn’t fat at two years old, but by the time I hit kindergarten, I was definitely pudgy. For all the bullshit I’ve been through about my weight, I never looked at myself and thought “there is something wrong here and it’s me.” Did I wish I was thin, yes, did I hate being fat, yes, but did I ever do anything about it, no. 

The truth is, by the time I was in high school and old enough to do something about my weight on my own, I enjoyed being the victim. It felt so much better and was much easier to go through this “woe is me” routine and then go have a cupcake instead of making the decision to go out and fix myself.I’m not saying that the bullying was right. I’m not trying to justify what they did. I’m just saying that, as much as I want to be thin, I’ve never really done anything but wish.

I came across this story on CNN.com on Sunday night. I’ve read many, many stories like this before, but for some reason, as I was reading, something clunked into place in my head. In her story she doesn’t talk about the fad diets and the gimmicks and doesn’t skirt around the fact that it was really hard work. All the other stories I’ve read about people losing weight, I’ve had to sort of step back and go “yeah right” when they talk about the pills or the meal plans and whatnot. But she didn’t do any of that, and that’s what really got me inspired. It’s going to be hard work, but if there is at least one person out there who can do it without the fads, without the gimmicks, then why can’t I?

So Monday morning I resolved to take the stairs at work, to walk over lunch and to start eating right...and I did! Today was a little tougher because I called off due to the ice, so no stairs, but I still managed to stick to the eating right part, and when Sean gets out of bed, I’m going to coerce him to take a walk with me. I’ve set a goal for myself. If I can lose 3 lbs a week through the end of 2008, I will have essentially cut myself in half and will be down to a healthy weight. I’m not trying to fool myself either. There will be weeks when I won’t lose anything. There will be times when I screw up. My long-term goal is to change my life, and if I don’t meet my precise short-term goal of 3 lbs, at least I will still be on the way. Baby steps are better than no steps at all, right?